Growing up I learned to read words. I learned how a bunch of words strung together formed a sentence. And then I learned how all those sentences fit together to mean something. But I never really learned how to read.
Learning to read in order to accomplish school work was never that difficult. All I had to do for most assigments is process the words themselves, pick one piece out and regurgitate it. Even as I returned to college last year this is still the level of reading that is expected.
But around five or six years ago I found everyone in my life knew a lot of theology. They knew weighty and awesome things about the gospel that I didn't quite understand. I was standing among people listening to their conversations, but was completely lost. This was when my friend mentioned to me an online resource called desiringgod.org.
Perusing through the site I found a wealth of resources to help me better understand the bible and the God who saved me. It was at Desiring God that I ran into names like; John Calvin, Jonathan Edwards, William Wilberforce, John Owen, etc. Who were these guys?
I picked up a few books these men wrote and found the level at which they wrote was far beyond me. It was difficult. Reading was no longer easy, it was labor. I had to work through a page. Reading Owen for the first time I made it through about four words and had to go grab a dictionary. I think I spent a week reading the first page of Of Mortification of Sin in Believers. (book link has three books in one, the first of which is Of Mortification...)
That week opened my eyes to a whole new world. I realized for the first time that I didn't know how to actually read. The ability to read and understand fully was not a skill I possessed. At this point I had a choice. I could say that this is too difficult, not worth my time, put those books down and return to ease and comfort in my mind. Alternately, I had the choice to press in, push past every difficult word, trod slowly through every thick page, read and reread every sentence until I could understand its meaning and how it connected to the ones before and after it. To make it through any of those paragraphs meant engaging my mind in a more difficult work than it had every engaged in previously. I chose the latter, the fruit of which is worth more than the wages of many years of employment.
Reading through the works of men whom God so graciously gave such great minds has changed me forever. It has taught me how to read and understand. It has taught me to have patience and to stay the course. It has taught me to reside in something until I have found its meaning, refusing to move on until I have explored it thoroughly. It has changed the way I read the bible. It has changed the way I see the Living God.
I am still learning to read. I am looking forward to every labor, every difficult page in every book and the ways my mind will be enlightened to the mysteries of God's glory and grace. I look forward to the ways that this will change my heart and my affections every day.
Learning to read in order to accomplish school work was never that difficult. All I had to do for most assigments is process the words themselves, pick one piece out and regurgitate it. Even as I returned to college last year this is still the level of reading that is expected.
But around five or six years ago I found everyone in my life knew a lot of theology. They knew weighty and awesome things about the gospel that I didn't quite understand. I was standing among people listening to their conversations, but was completely lost. This was when my friend mentioned to me an online resource called desiringgod.org.
Perusing through the site I found a wealth of resources to help me better understand the bible and the God who saved me. It was at Desiring God that I ran into names like; John Calvin, Jonathan Edwards, William Wilberforce, John Owen, etc. Who were these guys?
I picked up a few books these men wrote and found the level at which they wrote was far beyond me. It was difficult. Reading was no longer easy, it was labor. I had to work through a page. Reading Owen for the first time I made it through about four words and had to go grab a dictionary. I think I spent a week reading the first page of Of Mortification of Sin in Believers. (book link has three books in one, the first of which is Of Mortification...)
That week opened my eyes to a whole new world. I realized for the first time that I didn't know how to actually read. The ability to read and understand fully was not a skill I possessed. At this point I had a choice. I could say that this is too difficult, not worth my time, put those books down and return to ease and comfort in my mind. Alternately, I had the choice to press in, push past every difficult word, trod slowly through every thick page, read and reread every sentence until I could understand its meaning and how it connected to the ones before and after it. To make it through any of those paragraphs meant engaging my mind in a more difficult work than it had every engaged in previously. I chose the latter, the fruit of which is worth more than the wages of many years of employment.
Reading through the works of men whom God so graciously gave such great minds has changed me forever. It has taught me how to read and understand. It has taught me to have patience and to stay the course. It has taught me to reside in something until I have found its meaning, refusing to move on until I have explored it thoroughly. It has changed the way I read the bible. It has changed the way I see the Living God.
I am still learning to read. I am looking forward to every labor, every difficult page in every book and the ways my mind will be enlightened to the mysteries of God's glory and grace. I look forward to the ways that this will change my heart and my affections every day.
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